It’s hot. It’s been hot the last few days. But today feels different. The air feels heavy-hot today, somehow pregnant with moisture. Heaven knows what percentage humidity is on the scale. There’s a few grey clouds adrift in the sky but the forecast says no rain. I finish pulling the weeds in the veggie patch, harvest a mountain of swiss chard and a lone cucumber and head home. By the time I get there I think – it must rain soon – I can feel it. I’m like a human barometer in that way. It’s quite weird – I can usually predict when it’s about to rain to within a 10 minute window. Must be a throwback to my ancesters hunter gatherer instincts. Only mine is a get the cushions in quick instinct. Sure enough as I was thinking “its gonna rain soon even if the forecats says it won’t” the skies began to drip and then to rain properly. Only for 5 minutes or so, but my barometer was on track as usual. If only had such a clear physical perception of other things in life.
Some days like today I feel kind of floaty and directionless. Not in a bad way necessarily, but just in a calm before the storm way. I know I have work I could and should be doing. I could also clean the apartment and get dinner prepped and write emails and do research. I could call friends and touch base and organise our move back to the city in a months time. There are absolutely a thousand and one things I could use my time on at the moment. But I’m not.
I’m drifting. Enjoying this heaviness in the air, moving through the day today is like wading through deep water – fine if you go slow and don’t have to get anywhere quickly.
The storm will hit soon. My son will come home from school and the endless demands and needs will begin again. Read to me mum. Can I have a drink mum. What can I do now mum. Look at me mum. Again mum. Again mum. Tonight we have visitors and the demands will increase even more. And tomorrow there’s an 8 yr old birthday to host and a cake to bake and an excursion to coordinate and in between the work emails. So I know the storm is coming. But in these last precious minutes before the door opens, I’m allowing myself to simply drift heavily through the day.