I sit on my couch, looking out at the snow dusted rooftops of the city. Everything is frozen today. The last remaining leeks and sprouts on the balcony are covered in frost, snow nestled in the cups of their leaves. The sun breaks through and for a moment everything is lit by yellow. Even the clouds have warm halos of gold around their grey stormy bellies. I marvel at the ability life has to do this. To survive such extreme frosts and frozen times. The tips of the trees are already prepared for spring, the new buds fully formed and ready to burst into life as soon as the conditions change. I know there are field mice and other little critters that are currently sleeping, hibernating their way through this frozen stillness, waiting for the dawn after such a long, long night of sleep. I remember tales of a caterpiller in the arctic which literally freezes year after year, only to thaw again to eat a few leaves while it can before being again frozen. 14 years it takes that creature to mature and become a butterfly for a few days. 14 years of preparation for just a few days of glory. Sitting inside my warm, cosy apartment, on my large, comfy couch I have the feeling I’m a little bit like that caterpiller at the moment. Something big is coming. Big changes are round the corner, and although they’re not quite here yet, they have already been set in motion like some large lumbering machine that takes a while to arrive but you can hear the engines before it comes into view. I am eating my last leaves and beginning to build my chrystal cocoon in this winter stillness. I feel my anticipation of going within, to that quiet still place, the place where real transformation occurs. I am creating my cocoon. My still place away from prying eyes or intruding responsibilities. I am building my chamber of transformation. Where I will break down my old self into it’s primordal stew of being, my very essence, and out of this gooey, slippery mess I will take one cell, then another, then another, and reassenble these fundamental blocks into something completely different to what it once was. Into something beautiful – a new, shiny, fresh version of myself. Built from the same blocks, but put together in a very different way. And then I will emerge and fly, stunning the world around me with my brilliantly coloured wings…

 

 

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